Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Reflections of an Artist: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not!

I use to hear women say "Men change like the weather" and I never fully understood or experienced it until now. One day you've got a "Nigga" all up in your face and the next he's actin new. Excuse my language but I do believe niggaism does still exist, and not only in males but others as well. I believe there are three types of males you have your men, your niggas, and your boys but that's a whole nother blog. I know a lot of you are thinking maybe that's why cause you was dealing wit a nigga, but honestly I didn't know the Nigga was a nigga til he started trippin. Now back to my story, why do men do the things that they do? One day they're feelin you extra hard, calling you 24/7, texting you little sweet messages, wanting to sit on the phone with you all night having absolutely nothing to say to the point where you both fall asleep, and you wake up to the sound of snoring realizing hours later that neither of you hung the phone up, and when you say "you still there I'm bout to hang up" he's like "no don't hang up I'm not sleeping". True story ladies and I'm not even exaggerating.


You go out on you first date together, nothing fancy just a little meet and greet type spot. Yall are vibing and getting a feel for each other, you like him, he's cool but your not sure that you like him in a boyfriend type of way. It's only your first date with him and you feel butterflies that you never felt for a man, especially not that soon, but you ignore them cause you know that there's a possibility that he could be just like the rest of em. He drops you off home but you don't get out the car just yet, you stay in the car wit em for a few more hours cause yall are feelin each other that much. You play it cool but you can't resist as he gazes into your eyes and caresses your hands but you say to yourself "this dude is feelin me a little too much" just to remind yourself of your "pimp status" and to keep yourself from being vulnerable. You don't even get your foot in the door (exaggerating) and he calls you, and you know you're hype that he did but you remain cool, cause again you know what they're are capable of. You answer the phone as if you're not even fazed and the first thing that comes out of his mouth is "so what's up wit me and you?" In your head your like rewind this is all kind of sudden don't you think, but you have to admit it's making you blush. You figuratively smack yourself in order to bring your self back to pimp status and reply "what do you mean?" knowing damn well what he means and he blatantly says "I mean what's up? are we dating?" This time pimp status sets in on its own and your thinking, damn this dude is feelin me hard and it's only the first date. You go ahead a wipe the dirt off your shoulders (not really) cause you really feeling like a pimp now and you composedly say " I don't know I gotta see, you know how yall are, but you cool, we'll see". He laughs it off sayin "how we are?"

Weeks go by, yall are still vibing.You're feelin like he's your #1 and he feels the same and you know this because he gets jealous when your phone rings and your hesitant to answer, or when you mention another guy around him he sucks his teeth. You talk for hours on end about nothing. He says things to make you think that he's really feeling you hard now, like how he wants you to meet his friends. You like him but you don't wanna start a relationship with him cause hes got some extra baggage if you know what I mean. You try to pray him out of your life cause you don't agree with his lifestyle, but you really really like him more than you ever liked a guy and it almost I repeat almost feels like you love him. You get a rush when you're with him and your body responds to him like its never responded for any other man before, but you put these feelings aside cause you just can't do it, you can't fall for him. You keep you "guard" up as he slides past it with much success. You use to be a tough cookie to crack, but he's got you, you do things for him you would never do for a man cause remember this is Recie we're talking about here. Next thing you know the niggaitis set in and it was over no calls no responses. I guess that's why they say "men change up like the weather". Even to this day I have no idea why his "weather" changed and it wasn't just with him this kind of thing happened with a number of guys I talked to and I never understood it. What the hell? It's like some mystery women will never fully understand or understand at all for that matter. Guess I'll just go on being a "pimp" and doing me, cause men change up like the weather.